


Self-Indulgent Nonsense

by Draikinator



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bodysharing, Gen, Misgendering, Misogyny, Nonbinary Frisk, Post Game, Second Person, au where frisk and chara are hardcore toy collectors because i can do whatever i want, nonbinary chara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 04:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12523520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draikinator/pseuds/Draikinator
Summary: Chara and Frisk are both living above ground after monsters are freed, and also they both love collecting retro toys. Frisk collects transformers and Chara collects MLP, and they meet an asshole at a convention.





	Self-Indulgent Nonsense

You sift through a bin of Transformers idly, sifting through ziplock bags of loose prime figures and worthless Beast Wars 2 toys you already have three each of, hoping maybe you’ll find a Generations Arcee or maybe the Fox Kids repaint of Transmetals Airrazor, but you’re not having any luck today and you straighten up, stretching your arms and checking what’s on the table.

Chara taps your foot against the carpet, bored silly. _I want to look for ponies_ , they think impatiently, and you snort, picking up a headmaster Chromedome.

 _I would bet you a Minerva there’s none here_ , you sigh, putting it down when you see the price sticker, _Not that there’s a Minerva here either._

 _Well,_ Chara thinks, pulling your eyes upward to look at some beaten-up G1 boxes stacked behind the table, _They might_.

“Hey!” you say, and the man behind the counter looks away from his conversation with the other seller for a moment, before giving you the “one sec” gesture. You wait patiently while Chara whines he’s being rude to a customer and you ignore them politely until he turns toward you, “Do you have any Japanese headmasters? I’m looking for a Minerva.”

“You mean Minelba?” He laughs, a little condescendingly. You bite back a frown and try to ignore your annoyance, but when you open your mouth to speak, Chara gets there first.

“Um, actually, even though her name is romanized as Minelba on the packaging, she’s called Minerva on all the merchandise they released in the US afterward, including the Titan’s Return headmaster that just came out,” Chara blurts out, pulling the information from your memory but using a much snider tone than you would have.

“It, uh,” you say, trying to damage control, “the names are interchangeable.”

“Sure,” he says, “but you’re looking for the one with Minelba on the box, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, denying Chara the right to grit your teeth or kick the table.

“I don’t have it,” the seller says, shrugging and smiling, “sorry!”

“Okay, thank you,” you say, while Chara yells internally about what a dick that guy was and how you should have let them pull a Prowl and flip his table.

 _Come on_ , Chara begs, _let me look for horses! It’s not like they’d put them on the table, they’re all gonna be in cardboard boxes hidden behind their booths!! Just let me like, ask!_

“Ugh, fine,” you relent, and let Chara hop into your bones and spin you on a dime back around to a booth by the door with a ton of plastic dollar bins full of happy meal toys and early 2000s action figures. They dig through a blue bin they see a naked barbie sticking out of and you try to ignore the feeling of smug triumph that rockets through them when they pull a dirty Sugarberry from underneath some kind of shiny plastic Ben 10 toy missing an arm.

“Oy!” Chara says, peeking over the lip of the plastic table at the man vending, “You got any G2s in any of these bins?”

The man rolls his eyes, “I dunno what’s in those, my wife brought em. I only know about the stuff on the table.”

Chara briefly skims the overpriced He-Man figures on the table and you bite their tongue before they can tell him they think his wife has better stuff than him, and shove their hands back in the bin encouragingly. _Come on_ , you think, _let’s just keep looking for horses._

“Ugh, whatever,” Chara murmurs under their breath, and puts Sugarberry to the side so they can rummage through scuffed power rangers and PVC pokemon toys. They find a G2 McDonalds toy and a couple G3s with knotted hair they toss into their little pile, and even you grab a Robot Heroes Black Arachnia figure you see.

“I got six here,” Chara says, picking up your combined loot and putting it on the table, “Can you do five for them?”

“Yeah, whatever,” the guy says with a handwave, “I don’t really care about any of the girl’s toys there.”

You couldn’t even stop Chara’s outburst if you wanted to.

“The fuck is wrong with girl’s toys?” They say with a scowl.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” the vendor says, not looking sorry at all, “They’re just not worth anything.”

“Offend me?” Chara says, a little loudly, “God, fuck you man,” they slap a five from your pocket on the table and grab their toys, frustrated, “Sugarberry is worth like, 15 dollars aftermarket, asshole.”

Chara turns you away, but not quickly enough to miss his shrug, “I’ve had that for three shows and no one’s bought it for a dollar, so, whatever you say, lady.”

“I’m not a lady!” Chara snaps at him, but you stop them from turning around and starting a fight, aggressively steering them back over to where you see Alphys’s yellow scales glittering through the crowd.

“Hey, Alphys,” you say, trying to blot out Chara’s fuming, “What did you get?”

“Oh!” she says, delightedly holding open a plastic grocery bag to show you the contents, “I found the entire 1998 Mew Mew Kissy Cutie die cast figure series mint in package!!!” You see the little pewter anime girls in their plastic boxes among the other anime merch she’s bought, “I’ve never even seen them in person before!”

“That’s awesome!” you say, smiling, but Chara isn’t having it.

“What did you find?” Alphys says, pointing a claw at Chara’s armful of ponies.

You open your mouth to say that you found a really good deal on some horses in a dollar bin, but instead, Chara snaps, “That fucker over there is a misogynistic cuck.”

Alphys looks a little taken aback at the language but peers behind you at the man Chara’s talking about and rolls her eyes behind her glasses, “Oh, that guy. I asked him if he had any anime stuff and he was all like ‘I only deal in vintage,’ and I was like, ‘uh, yeah, thats why I’m here, I’m looking for nineties and eighties stuff,’ but he just like turned away and ignored me. I don’t know how he thinks he’ll sell anything with his crummy attitude.”

“He looks like he’s doing fine,” you comment, eyeing him pass a customer a Castle Greyskull box and take a sizeable handful of cash in return.

“Look, screw that guy,” Alphys says, putting a scaly hand on your arm reassuringly, “You got a good deal out of him underestimating the value of stuff, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Chara relents, still annoyed, “It still doesn’t feel good.”

“Yeah,” Alphys sighs, “Come on, let’s go relieve Undyne. I’m sure she’s getting tired back at the table alone.”

“Flowey is there,” you remind her.

“Which is double the reason to go relieve her, I’m sure he’s scaring all the customers away by critiquing their video game purchases.”

You have to admit; she’s probably right.


End file.
